The florist steals your data

I planned to steal information based on possibilities on my current flower care program and personal interest to earn money and give the rich world side effects of greed. Yeah – plant flowers. Not really my home genre but why would it be important. You would be surprised how less people care about flowers in the office. Let’s concentrate on two very interesting customers of mine. Five visits a year on this traditional big bank, let’s call it Sach. Three visits a year on another new coming popular Internet based bank, lets call it Prls. How hard can it be. Luckily nobody recognize that I work for both of them, even but the agreement is in the third year now.

This third year was about to be special. After this year in total eight visits, I have added a dousin of sensors in different areas of the offices that I care. They together collect approximately 1GB of data per 24h. Already in mid of second year agreement, I proposed a replanting of flowers next year. More specific, the 2nd visit at the large bank Sach and 1st visit at the Internet bank Prls.

In parallell I already tried a personal study of the planting. I had a year to find out that the flowers will survive. When the time for replanting occur at the customer, I have full responsibility over everything from bring flowers to- and from the office and including the potting soil to use. Nobody watching me and could care less of how I do my work. So except planting, I did also add  two water-resistence battery bays and a wireless hotspot in the pots. Special manufactured hardware and sotware for this purpose, that broadcast on a hidden network on another range. From the batteries I pulled thin wires inside the thicker stems of the bigger flower, pluggable cords inserted from one of the lower branches. The smaller flowers can’t use the wires but can collect sound and movements.

Next visit after the replanting, nurture and prune the flowers, I not only do this. I also verify connectivity and read the so far collected data into my smart phone, during the time i spent on each plant. I also punch a microcamera into the plug spare below the bottom bransch. Just 3 millimeter in size but with quality just as good as I can do face and basic image recognizition. Even smaller sound recorders in all flowers and not least, sensors that register possible movements. Next visit I will be able to transfer approx 100GB of data per flower, that will be stored since my last visit. A success transfer will take about 15 minutes and automatically clean the memory card once done. I walk on to next big flower. The smaller flowers does collect sound but also information about other networks in the office.

After each visit, I sell the data unstructered on dark web on auction. The buyers get exclusive rights (Well they can of course steal it if they want, but we trust each other) to re-distribute as long as they return to me with useful information they extract. The pay is mostly BitCoin and unfornately I know almost 100% black market and worser. In turn I use the money to pay intelligent developers create nice techniques and software algorithms for me. Why would I have moral panic for providing information from organizations that more or less steal money from tax paying people, instead of show a truly interest to reinvest them on a better world. As soon as more legal money is reinvested to the people and a better world, I will stop steal and distribute the information. Last time something really useful happened, was when some gigabyte of mail server information was exploiting some tax-free accounts and related rubbish coooperation.

What they do with the data? I can imagine. Myself is running automated pattern analysis so I identify for instance faces visiting pattern. I know for instance how many cup of coffees or visiting time in a particular toilet customers have. Funny enough the algorithm find that a higher percentiles of visiting time is incredibly higher at about 15 o clock until office close on afternoon, then the rest of working day. Algorithms do also set placeholders on media where there are more then one voice involved, but just one a time talking – appear as a chatting. Again, the coffee machine bring many discussions and facts.

Looking back

It begun back at 2013 when i was unemployed, i met a guy at a bar. I was alone at a round table with space for four in a rounded shaped red leather sofa. In front of me, except some other tables and the bar, I had a book with the title “10 paradoxes in human behaviors” on top of another book with a very basic title “Computer Science” on the table. At that very moment I also had a boring Pang IPA beer on my table. For me, nothing was unusual with this except that time I met this guy.

He asked to sit with me for a while, having some questions around my choice of books. Later he asked me about my daily life, and then tell me a little about his. I lie a lot to him, described my work as a buyer on a book store nearby. I read a lot of books and have an idea about what people need to hear for me to be trustworthy. This way we started to know each other and he proposed me a job as a florist, to work at offices to take care of their flowers.
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A maked up story by Dundee